Today, my “person” passed away.  If you are in the breast cancer universe, my hope is that you have had a “person” and then maybe even have become someone else’s.
I remember when I was first diagnosed, back when you know absolutely nothing.  You have no idea where to start.  It is impossible to wrap your head around the enormity of the diagnosis that you have been given and to manage the tears that flow and the emotions of the people around you.  I was in that place, roughly two weeks into my diagnosis when someone gave me Elizabeth’s name and phone number.  The only thing that I was told by the person who gave it to me was that I had to call and I would understand why later.
To this day, I look back on that call and our subsequent friendship with joy and admiration.  Elizabeth was like my north star.  From the very beginning, she pointed me in the right direction.  She told me the right support group to go to.  She walked me through how to be a strong, independent advocate for myself as I lumbered through the hospital system.  She was the most encouraging person who believed in me.  She is the reason that I framed my cancer the way that I did.  Elizabeth helped me to see that cancer is about living, not dying and changing your life so that you are truly focusing on God’s plan for you.
I saw her for the last time at the end of November, not in some hospital bed, but shopping at the Home Goods store.  “How are you feeling?” I asked.  As always, she had a list of things to get done, people to buy for, etc.  You never would have guessed that she only had 2 more months to live.  Then in true Elizabeth form, she asked, “How is your soul?”  She could have asked me a million other things, but she asked this question.  We talked a little longer and when it was time to leave I said “Thank you sweet friend, I love you bunches.”  For no reason, I just hugged her a little bit longer.  Not because I thought she was going to die, because I did not, but because her place in my life is one that deserves a longer embrace.
I have used her example as a cancer mentor time and time again in my life when someone calls me newly diagnosed.  None of us have all the right answers, but we do have the ability to slow down, listen and just maybe, if we are lucky, to become their “person” that they need in that moment.
written by LPHOH Founder Jeanine Patten-Coble